Inferiority

Many of my posts have been funny, random things. This one is not.
Grades really matter to me. I know that they aren't the most important thing, but to me, they are.Why? Because school is pretty much the only thing I'm great at. Yes, they are things I like to do, but I'm not as talented at theme as my friends are.

Humor: I love a witty response, sarcastic remarks and just plain clowning around. However, I'm not funny. I'm just not.

Friendship: I have a lot of friends, but they aren't as close as I'd like them to be. Hardly any of them chose me to be a partner with; I always ask them. And there are plenty of things they do that I'm just not invited to.

Be friendly: I am a friendly person, but making friends or talking to complete strangers can be hard for me. I'm a naturally talkative person, but hardly anyone sees that. Throw me in with a couple of strangers and I'm not very social.

Sports: I have played many sports and loved them all. Field hockey is my main one now, but I'm not as good as I wan to be. I can't hit the ball hard and my passing/aggressiveness stinks. Plus, I have never scored.

Art: I like to draw, paint, and doodle, but they aren't that cool looking. I have a lot of artistic friends, but my drawings stink.

Reading: I'm a great reader, and a fast one, but I haven't read challenging books in a while, making me way below my standards.

Beauty: I'm not very pretty. My hair is frizzy, my face is zitty and I'm not thin or have a great body.

Music: I love to sing, but I've never been told I'm great by a person my age who wasn't a friend. I play viola, but I still struggle with intonation and just musicality. I used to play piano, and I'm trying to get back into plain it again, this time accompanying songs. But I'm not as good as my brother, who can compose his own songs and play pop songs as well.

As you can see, I'm just a second rate person. That's one of the reasons that I'm so competitive and I hate to lose; it just makes me feel worse. I'm not depressed or want to hurt myself or anything, I'm just having self-esteem issues right now. But sharing helps, so if you think this is a stupid post then no quiero escucharte, eres un pendejo.